Community post

Discussion

40 and TTC # 2 after 19 yrs

View Full Post

Hello Ladies,
I am 40 and DH is 50. We are trying to conceive our first together. I had a TR in August of 2013 and we stated trying in November 2013. I would like to share this journey with you ladies.


709 Replies • 10 years ago


Advertisement

 

Pregnancy test calculator

Use this calculator to help you decide when to take your first home pregnancy test.

311 - 320 of 709 Replies | Last Page


EEESH my cycle was wonky this month. I've been using opk and bbt. I saw two days of positive OPK and proceeded to BD every other day. Then 5 days later I never saw a temp rise. I was confused and thought maybe I had not ovulated this cycle.
Then on cycle day 20 I got a huge spike in temp. It had been like 3 or 4 days since the last BD. Hubby had just left for work but when I told him about he came back for another BD. Is it too late after you get the temp rise?[img]http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/my-account/bbt_chart.php?cycleid=268300[/img]


User Image

10 years ago


Ha! @LWilliams, no I don't think it is too late because you can ovulate 2 after you get a positive OPK and you can also ovulate more than 1 egg at a time so you're pretty much fertile 5 days before O and several days after. GL doll!


User Imagehttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/good_luck.gifhttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/baby_dust.gif

10 years ago


thanks Praying4ALil1!
This is such an emotional roller coaster. I have 3 kids, two were surprises and one was conceived on the first try.

Now at 44 Im almost afriad to get excited. I've gained like 25 pounds in the last 6 months thinking I had early pregnancy cravings.


User Image

10 years ago


@ lwilliams, I COMPLETELY know what you mean. I too have gained weight. Twice, I have been a week late and thought for sure I was pg only not to be. I also haven't been working out as much as I used to. Mainly because if I did get pg, I didn't want to jeopardize the baby by working out too hard. I used to jog and do Zumba and now I'm barely walking. LOL! In all seriousness though, I have also gained weight and I have heard that can affect fertility but yet I know a few people that are overweight and have gotten pg. They are younger than me so I just assume it's my age. I'm 45 and my dh and I have been trying for a year now. We have a fert appt next week in Jacksonville, FL on Dec 10th. I live in Fl but about 4 hours away from Jacksonville. I am hoping we will get some good news! Please keep us in your prayers! I am praying for all of you!!!


[baby_dust]

10 years ago


@LWilliams & MrsWard, I know exactly how you feel. When we started TTC I used to work out 5 days a week, did spinning, Zumba, weights and was told by many that I had to stop because low body fat doesn't aid conception so I cut back & gained some weight and guess what nothing happened. I'm still praying for a BFP so I'm back to working out, having a glass of wine if I feel like it and I'm doing fertility yoga because apparently stress has a lot to do with infertility so I think we just need to relax and let it happen. Read this very interesting article on fertility and stress.

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/womens-health/articles/2010/08/27/cant-get-pregnant-how-stress-may-be-causing-your-infertility.

I know that it's easier said than done as time is of the essence at this stage of the game but did I tell you that my friend who is 45 and just got married in July is expecting her second baby in March and there is a 21 year gap between her two children so we do have a chance. We will be successful. Take your prenatal vitamins, do a little exercise, pray, and baby dance every chance you get. Here's hoping for BFPs for all of us!


User Imagehttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/good_luck.gifhttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/baby_dust.gif

10 years ago


@ Praying4Alit1 - Thank you for sharing that about your friend who is 45 and got pg. I feel so discouraged at times because of my age. Even though I know it is not impossible because with God ALL things are possible. Right? I just wish I could turn back the clock and be in my late 20's or 30's. My dh is 31. There is a 13 yr gap between us. I used to do acupuncture but our insurance doesn't cover it and it got to be expensive. But I LOVED doing it. It was VERY relaxing. I have thinking about doing it again but I could prob only afford to do it once a month.
I tell myself each month not to stress but yes, I agree with you. Better easier said than done. : )
My biggest vice is coffee. I still have to have my cup in the morning. Do you think that is ok? Or should I try to give it up completely.


[baby_dust]

10 years ago


Ha! @MrsWard, Give up coffee completely? I honestly don't know. Research is so inconclusive with regard to how caffeine affects fertility although the consensus seems to be that we should consume less 200 mg of it. I think that's a large cup of coffee. I still indulge in 1 small cup of coffee a day but that's it. I don't drink tea or sodas and hardly ever have chocolate.

I found this in the Mayo Clinic website. "While studies suggest the importance of limiting caffeine use during pregnancy, caffeine may also impact the ability to become pregnant. Several studies have shown that caffeine increases the length of time it takes to conceive. One study showed that women who drank more than one cup of coffee a day were half as likely to become pregnant per cycle as compared to women who consumed less. Another study in patients undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF) demonstrated that women who consumed even modest amounts of caffeine (50 mg) were likely to have decreased live birth rates. While the exact mechanism by which caffeine affects fertility is unknown, the answer may be related to the ability of caffeine to influence the quality of the developing oocyte (egg). Preliminary studies in mice and monkeys suggest caffeine inhibits oocyte maturation. An immature oocyte does not fertilize and therefore is unable to produce a pregnancy."

But if I may be honest with you, I think you're being so hard on yourself. It truly breaks my heart. Stop thinking that you are to blame for not getting a BFP yet! How do you know it's not your hubby? So what if he already has a child and he's 31? There's a chance he could be the problem. Plus, do you know caffeine affects male fertility too? Well, it does. What our partners consume also affect our chances of getting pregnant. I'm sorry if I'm a little too blunt but it upsets me so much that you keep beating yourself up. I think you should work in improving the health of your eggs and make sure hubby takes some vitamins too. I hear oysters work wonders for both female & male fertility and do try to do some yoga or meditation. There's a good DVD at amazon called yoga 4 fertility. It's not hard at all and usually by the time I'm done I feel so much better about myself. Once again, I'm sorry if I upset you. I just want you to know that we are all on your side and that God will make us fruitful on his own timing. A big hug from me.


User Imagehttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/good_luck.gifhttp://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/res/img/forum/emoticons/baby_dust.gif

10 years ago


@ Praying4Alit1 - NO!!!! I am not upset with you at all! I appreciate your honesty and prefer for people to be honest with me at all times. So, please do not think I am upset because I am not. In fact, I know you are right and you actually sounded like my husband. He always tell me the same thing that it could be him. My husband was diagnose with Epilepsy. He had a grand mal seizure when he was in high school and has been on medication since then. I have done some reading on it and some of the medications to treat Epilepsy can cause infertility in female and male. He at times has even questioned if his daughter is in fact his cause his ex partied and went out alot and wouldn't put it pass her if she did cheat on him. Anyways, My dh doesn't drink coffee but he does drink soda and tea. I have maybe one to two small cups of coffee in the morning. Currently I am taking Royal Jelly and pre-natal vitamins. Do you think I should be taking anything else to help with my egg quality?
I don't mean to be so down on myself or negative. I guess the last year of us trying and not even any ONE BFP has been discouraging. I don't know if you know but last month my dh and I visited a fertility specialist and although he didn't run any tests on me or my dh - he looked at my AMH test result that was taken in June of this year at my OB GYN. My results were 0.03. He told me that my only chance of having a baby would be an egg donor. It has been VERY discouraging. When I was younger, I got pg without even trying and now that I actually am trying it has been a major struggle and a BIG disappointment. I know you can relate to what I am saying. I am VERY thankful for you and all these ladies in this group. Again, PLEASE know that you can be honest with me. : )


[baby_dust]

10 years ago


MrsWard & Praying - I just wanted to add my two cents in here. I think we all have a tendency to be too hard on ourselves. TTC brings a lot of pressure to bear on us, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Yes, we are older, and yes, that makes it harder to get pregnant. But you know what? Even in my 20's I had trouble. I might have gotten pregnant, but I lost half the pregnancies. My weight has been up and down. I've eaten healthy and not, I've had caffeine and done without. What I'm trying to say is something I'm trying to practice myself: we can only do our part. We can only take care of ourselves the best we can, try to time our "activities" the best we can, and then leave the rest in God's Hands. If we get pregnant or not is not a reflection on how much God loves us - I struggle with this myself. It's not a reflection on how good we are - the Bible says not one is good, right? It's not a punishment for past sins - Jesus took care of that for us.

If I had my way, my dh and would be the same age - not him being 12 years older. He would never have been married before, and we'd have a dozen kids. Lol! But God is sovereign and has allowed certain things to be. I don't understand them, but I am trying to learn to be ok with them.

I absolutely understand your pain and frustration - I feel it myself. I just wanted to try - in my own small way - to share some truths with you that I believe God has been trying to show me the last 7 months. Maybe for the last 18 years.

I hope what I've said comes through as being said with the love I feel for all of the ladies here.

May God bless us all with children, and give us the grace to wait on His timing.


User Image

10 years ago


@ Rebecca - I REALLY appreciate what you said and needed to hear a LOT of what you said. What you all say is and has been VERY encouraging. Again, I am thankful that I found this site and this group. I know what you shared is 100% the truth. I just needed to be reminded of it. : ) I too am trying to learn to be ok with the circumstances in my life and trust in God's perfect timing and will for my life. Whether that be my dh and I conceiving a baby of our own or not. I have even prayed for God to remove the desire to have a baby if it not be His will but nothing has changed. The desire to have a baby is still there. Again, thank you for adding your two cents. Everything you said helped. : )


[baby_dust]

10 years ago



Log in or sign up to reply to this post.


Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation

What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?

 

Advertisement

 

Pregnancy test statistics

Select your day past ovulation to see the statistics and to get an understanding of what result you can expect.

Select your day past ovulation
7
dpo
8
dpo
9
dpo
10
dpo
11
dpo
12
dpo
13
dpo
14
dpo