Community post

Leaving Facebook changed my life. Now I don't know about everyone's super awesome kids, the five-star dinners they are having, the new cars they are buying or the extravagant trips they are taking. I know a lot less about people now and the ignorant bliss is amazing.

Leaving Facebook will only help a little bit. For me I am having issues with all the baby commercials, going on pinterest and seeing random people pinning baby stuff, anywhere and everywhere! I've told my husband that I am done trying to time everything out and get pregnant. Today I am going to start researching adoption. I have already spent over $35,000 in trying to conceive my own and clearly this isn't going to happen. We cannot afford it anymore. We have exhausted all our sources and savings. Foster care adoptions are looking more like the way to go. We already have a 8 year old and a 9 year old. Adoption would be a way to have child closer in age to our boys now and to bring a child out of a bad situation into a loving home.

I know how you're feeling.. I too found out yesterday i have had a missed miscarriage.. The second in the last 6 months.. the last one cost over 2 grand in medical bills and we are totally skint..I too have no money, not even for a D&C.. for meds to help..

I'm angry too, and going through exactly the same feelings..

Because I've moved to the USA, (I spent thousands on visa's, travel, green cards, my live savings) and I cannot even get any help with this.. the government have told me i can wait another 6 months or more for my green card, although they have given me permission to work, i cannot work without a social security number, which i won't get UNTIL i have my green card!! I cannot get any help with any money whatsoever and my husband works his backside off to pay the mortgage, which, takes 2 and a half weeks of his money...

Looking at what i've just said i must have been mad to even think we could afford a child right now.. but I'm 41 almost 42 and that clock keeps ticking away...

I feel exactly the same as you, i feel like a hysterectomy might be the answer but alas no cash to pay for it!!

Keep your chin up, if you have food on the table you're rich x

If you wanna vent some message me x

You obviously can get pregnant so making it stick is the issue. It sounds ridiculous but when you give up trying for some people it seems to happen. So maybe giving up the OPKs, the timed intercouse and the planning will work. Focus on researching adoption/foster care and see what happens. I personally have a family member who tried for years to have her first without success. They ended up adopting an unplanned baby from her sister in law....within 3 months of adoption she was pregnant. If not then you have taken a child that doesn't have a home and given it one which is always a blessing but especially to a child that is 8/9 who has much lower chances of being adopted. Know that you aren't alone and your feelings are perfectly rational and normal! It sounds like you will be a great mother whichever route you end up taking. :-)

Thank you everyone! We have talked about adopting as a second option. I will not do IVF as that is about 30,000 from my RE per round. I can't afford even 1 round and that is why I had my tubes untied and I really don't want to put my body through al the drugs to stimulate follicles and then artificially implant. I feel that it will happen if it is supposed to. I tried clomid 1 month and then found out it was what caused my miscarriage. I started my period then started the clomid and the RE said it has a chance of causing miscarriage but we probably had already lost it as I had started to bleed before I started the meds. My husband is completely against trying them again as he thinks everything would be fine and we would be pregnant if we wouldn't have taken the meds. I have an 8 and 9 year old, but none with my husband now. Both boys and love them to death! Every day I live my life for them. They have been begging for a little sister (will take a brother, but would rather have a sister!) for the last couple years. I have actually been starting to look into adoption out of foster care as it is cheaper instead of going with a newborn and waiting list. I would absolutely love to get any child! I need to talk more with my husband on looking into our adoption options. He isn't ready to give up conceiving. I can't take the emotional roller coaster every month with the horrible TWW ending in a new cycle each month. I don't want to give it time anymore. I wanted this to happen months ago as like everyone else on here!