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I'm sorry Lis. Your still not out yet though! Praying for you!

Lil- sorry to hear about AF, but sometimes a little break is good. I haven't used Femera. I'll look into it.

Lis- how frustrating. Any confirmation yet either way?

ASM- CD 11. Go for Estradiol check tomorrow. I was supposed to go for accupuncture today to help improve my eggs, regulate my cycle and now...unblock my tube. But it's cold & rainy and I didn't feel like going. Now I feel guilty :( Ugh.

I've been struggling with continuing advanced fertility treatments and my faith. I thought of something today that kind of helped me rectify my actions and my beliefs. I'm going to conitnue some fertility treatments to provide oppurtunities for God to reveal a miracle. :)

Hope that makes sense...

Good luck everyone!

It makes total sense Jen. God led people to make discoveries. Those discoveries are here to help us. Even with the help of science, it still takes a God-given miracle to get us to parenthood. :)

Jani, *hugs*. AF sucks!

AFM, I'm waiting on AF too. I should have it tomorrow. I tested with a frer with a very concentrated urine sample last night and it was completely negative, so I'm certain I'm out. I've spotted on and off since 6dpiui, which is very unusual for me. I have a feeling that it is from my super high progesterone level slowly dropping.

I'll keep you posted on CD1.

I keep hearing that song, "The Final Countdown" by Europe in my head as I write this entry. I talked with RE nurse today and have a new plan. Then talked to DH to see how much of that plan we were willing to complete.

As it stands (and I have the right to change my mind hourly ;) ...had CD12 Estradiol today, it was 91. Not the 200 they had hoped, but I was ok that is was lower instead of higher since too high can indicate poor ovarian reserve. So anyway---back on Follistim. Doing 100mg of Follistim tonight, Tues & Weds. Estradiol check Thurs morn. If no better...more Follisitim. If between 200 & 300, then follie check on ultrasound. If good eggies, the trigger with Ovidrel. They said we would do IUI 24 hours after trigger or BD at home. Our last pregnancy in Feb 2012 was on this same protocol, IUI included. Had great 1st draw labs then miscarried. Thinking now the loss was due to untreated MTHFR, PAI-1 and the ACE inhibiter problem. So I'm actually excited that this might actually work!

The RE nurse said if after a couple of months of this protocol without IUI and just BD, they would recommend we BD or stop treatment because it would have worked by then. If after 3-4 mos, even with IUI, still not preggo..then we regroup and think about what we could be missing. ?Laproscpic to open blocked tube? More drugs? IVF??

DH & I had a good talk tonight, and he is not comfortable with IUI. I initally wasn't either, but now that I'm looking at 2-3 months until it's over, I was willing to do the IUI. But he is not and I have to respect that. It's not worth ruining my marriage or hurting him. We have agreed from the begining that IVF was not something we were interested in. We're also not interested in the surgery to evaluate the blocked tube. So here we are. The last few months of TTC.

Wow. It's kind of sad to see it written in black and white. But somehow...also freeing. Free from apts that conflict with my work schedule. Free from painful procedures. Free from gut wrenching hopes be smashed every month. Free from peeing on everything that isn't nailed down.

I'm feeling mixed emtions. 50% of me is hopeful we will get preggo. 50% is thinking we will not.

Stay strong ladies! Baby Dust!

*hugs* Jen. I'm sure you've told me this before, but why is your DH so against IUI? I understand you not wanting to press him on something he is so against, but I really think he should reconsider just one last try with IUI. He needs to consider your feelings and all the things you have done and are doing to conceive. Frankly, the men have it so easy with only one "task", so it's a bone of contention with me when they have issues with performance or compliance.

Understandably, it does need to be a decision you are both comfortable with, and like you said, not worth risking your marriage, but I personally feel that the extra chance to conceive is also worth it. I'm here if you want to discuss or vent, and I fully support you, which ever way this all works out for you. Hugs my friend!

AFM, AF arrived on time yesterday mid-morning. I've had the most horrendous cramping this time. So bad, I actually curled up in bed last evening with a double dose of naproxen and a heating pad. I don't remember the last time I had cramps like that. It's still painful today, but not nearly as intense.

My DH and I also had a talk, and we are going to put the deposit down on an IVF. We need to go to an orientation first, so when I talk to my RE today, I'll get the dates on that. There is a wait list for IVF here, so I think we will do a couple more IUI's while we are waiting. If one takes and sticks, then we will have only lost the IVF deposit. If not, then we won't have lost any more time waiting to see. It's hard for me to move forward with this, knowing I CAN get pregnant, just can't seem to stay that way. I don't want to do an IVF and see it fail.

Anyway, like Jen, this is my final countdown too. By this summer, I should know what my fertility future looks like.

Quick update....E2 on CD12 was only 91. Did 100mg of Follistim on CD 12, 13, & 14. E2 today (CD15) is 255! Have ultrasound tomorrow to check follies, lining and blocked tube. If all looks good...trigger tomorrow...BD all week...get BFP in 2 weeks :) If only it was that simple.

Ahh Jen & Lis my inspirations for strength, hope & faith. I would genuinely love to see you both have your dreams realised with a bfp. Good luck in the next few weeks/cycles. Praying for you both. TTC is beyond heartbreaking when you're faced with difficulty. We will all get there in the end one way or another xx

My stupid phone doesn't let me log in anymore! UGH! So I'll try to catch up now.

Lis-how are you doing emotionally? What are the plans for the next round? Are they going to consider anything differnt to help a sticky bean? To answer your question about DH & IUI, it's just not something is he comfortable doing. I have to respect that & hope he respects my limits too. He has never had any issues with his swimmers, so there isn't any reason to think we couldn't conceive the old fashioned way. Of course this may change as this plan develops, and who knows what we'll want to do next week!

Lil (I'm sorry-I don't think I know your real name :( ) Thanks for thinking I'm strength & faith & hope. It has taken me 3 loooooooooooong years to get to this point of acceptance of His plan. But I think we are all strong. Infertility isn't for wussies. The emotional and physical torture isn't for the faint of heart. But I'm finally in a place of "it is what it is". This is my lot in life, and I'm going to try what medical procedures I can afford (physically, emotionally, and financially) and if those don't lead to a biological child, then I'll see what the next steps are for me.

I've ached fo so long of wanting a child, that I it's almost hard to imagine me being pregnant & healthy. I've wanted a baby since we got married in 2004. I've made car purchase, career decisions, and a home purchase all planning for the BFP that hasn't happened (yet).

Anyway-- I had an U/S today. 2 follies on the right (12mm & 13mm). Doesn't really matter since the right tube is completely blocked. Praise God..there is one 13mm on the left! Whoo hoo! All we need is one :) Uterine lining is 7.3mm (was 3.4 last week). Estradial 418 today (was 255 yesterday). My little eggies are healthy!

Doing 75iui of Follistim tonight, tomorrow & Sunday. U/S on Monday ...and think we'll trigger on Monday too.

I'm interested to see how this cycle will go because I just started back with accupuncture, and I've never done Western & Eastern medicine...so this is all new for me.

I'm so hopeful for you Jen!

I'm doing fine. I had my few moments of sad around 12dpiui when I knew it wasn't going to work. I know where I'm headed though, so none of the failures get me down for too long. It is what it is, and I can't do anything about it, so I have to just roll with it. It keeps me sane that way. :)

The plan for this cycle is pretty much the same. Last cycle I took epo and extra vitamin b, along with the multi, aspirin, femara and trigger. This time I'm skipping the epo and extra vit.b. I read that the b's can affect progesterone levels, and that levels over 75 aren't great for pg either, so maybe that had a negative affect. I'll be going on Tuesday for my ultrasound for follies (the left side can pick up right ovary eggies too, so you may have a better chance than you think Jen), and then as long as I have a good follicle, I assume I'll trigger on Wednesday night.

We'll be close in our cycles, with Jani too, I think, so here's hoping we all have success!

Hey ladies, sounds like you all have wonderful plans. Praying God is going to plant little babies into all of your wombs very very soon.

My SIL is going through testing. She has possible endometriosis, looks like pcos, and soon doing hcg to check for blockage. She is the one I had issues with in past, which I feel TERRIBLE about they started trying after dh and I were trying for over a year, and I was SO bitter at that point. I said not so nicee things on my blog and she read them. We are finally at a point where she can talk to me and ask me questions,and I am so thankful. Please pray for her, she has a surprise 4 year old from her partying days, and now has been married for 2 years and would love a baby with her husband. :-(

As per cycles go, AF came once for me so hypothetically I could get pregnant. We are nt/np basically unprotected sex once and a great while. I tthink AF is supposed to be here in 12 days or so (if it is regular, last cycle could have been a fluke). If we arent pregnant by the time he is 1 we will probaby start trying.

Life - Matthew is 2 months. 14lb 1oz, 25inches long. Chunky monkey! School starts back up feb 20. James got a promotion. Life is good, minus cranky baby from shots.

Love ya ladies! XOXO