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Confessions of a TTC Woman... Pt2 - Page 9

Reply by bumblebaby8808 » Mar. 22, 2012 5:09pm

Hi kde! Welcome to the ranting page! I certainly understand your frustration!

Snow, I am so sorry to hear your grandfather is still sick. But being in the icu is the best place for him and hopefully they can nurse him back to health quickly. As for the moving, I hear ya there. Dh has been looking into jobs all over so we are obviously looking into housing all over as well. I can't believe how much people want for rent! How come you don't work? If you don't mind me asking...

I feel a little better today than I did yesterday about this whole iui cycle. I guess I can't expect a negative outcome until I get one. Ugh, I'd like to fast forward to next friday please.

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Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29)
TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS
1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's
6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13

Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

bumblebaby8808
Posts: 186

Reply by krunchie29 » Mar. 22, 2012 7:48pm

bumble i hear ya! next friday is my test date and I am already climbing the walls!! why do we have to wait, its just cruel! its bad enough when its negative after negative but making us wait for the bad news is just beyond mean!

am trying to stay positive but temp dropped this morning and all other cycles had a drop at this time so its not necessarily good news. my temp hasnt risen very much after O too which i am taking as a bad sign. it its not happening then fine, but let me have my period and move on...

i hate this!

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Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

krunchie29
Posts: 546

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Mar. 23, 2012 8:31pm

i took the bus today. the worst possible place to be when ttc. pregnant bellies and babies all over the place. not to mention ads for hpts. i just want to be pregnant already!!!!

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850


Reply by _snowwhite_ » Mar. 24, 2012 6:33pm

i just watched a episode of king of queens. the one where carrie learns she only has one working ovary and her fertile days are the three doug's parents are home. stupid tv reflecting the way i feel.

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by bumblebaby8808 » Mar. 24, 2012 6:57pm

I know what episode your talking about. I feel like we are going to end up like they do at the end of the sitcom. In japan picking up their adopted child and THEN getting a positive pregnancy test!

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Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29)
TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS
1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's
6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13

Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

bumblebaby8808
Posts: 186

Reply by kde2011 » Mar. 25, 2012 4:59pm

ugh! I hate punk men. My mom just called me to tell me that the man she's been with for atleast a year has just attacked her and the worst part is shes 3 fucking month pregnant and he took her keys, so now shes really stuck. Like, really? you just beat up the mother of your child? can someone tell me who tf does that. I just want to kill him )':
sorry so vulgar, but I would die for my mom.

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kde2011
Posts: 10

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Mar. 25, 2012 9:37pm

Kde. I don't blame you. I just read a sign at the er that abuse often starts during pregnancy. There's nothing I hate more than woman beaters. I suggest taking your mother far away from him. He doesn't deserve her.

Afm. I'm having trouble with my asthma that never flares up. I was in the er for it tonight. I was sent home after I was clear for pneumonia and clots. Just bed rest and puffers. I'm shakey and dizzy from the lack of oxygen. The cramping from my ovulation just stopped. But I can't bd with df because I'm at my parents house while I sort out my asthma. I'm so depressed about not conceiving this cycle. I was so sure I'd be pregnant by my birthday (mar 28). Fahhhhk.

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by krunchie29 » Mar. 26, 2012 1:33am

my grr today is that CTP has decided to change my O date to a totally new date that doesnt correlate with any of my other indicators, such +OPKs, CM and CPosition!! Just because I had a spike in temp! Temp isnt everything you know! I could have had a slight temp from an illness that i didnt realise I had (increasing your body temp is your bodys way of fighting infection!) or a wonky thermometer...

I am fairly sure my o date is the one I first said and FF agrees with me. Its one of CTP's failings I think.

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krunchie29
Posts: 546

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Mar. 26, 2012 6:54pm

Krunchie. I know how you feel. I can't nail down my o date either. I need to get me a basal thermometer ASAP. But all my money goes to rent and groceries this month since df doesn't have an income. I only get money once a month on disability.

My fertility tracker says I o'd on the 22nd. Ctp and other online sources say 27th or 28th. I wish I used opks so I could pinpoint it instead of just the calendar method. Cm is still ew. Cp is still high and open. But the pain says I ovulated earlier. Arrrgh. It's just so confusing. I really wish you could just bd whenever you want between periods and fall pregnant. All this planning and pinpointing is taking the fun out of ttc. As if there was any fun to it in the first place.

I was talking to a good friend of mine. I love her to death but she's had 4 abortions. 4! Every time she turns around she's pregnant! Why can't that be the way for all of us trying. Just land pregnant at the drop of a hat?

Why must this be so much work? I'm stressing to the point of combustion! It doesn't help that df sperm count is so low. It's 300$ for the next shot. But I know that shot will work. It worked instantly last time. He got it and boom I was pregnant. If only it didn't end in miscarriage.

But the 28th is my bday and I'm supposed to o that day. Sounds like a good sign to me. Plus lots of bday bding!! I conceived on new years last time so let's hope this works out for me. Wish me luck!

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by krunchie29 » Mar. 26, 2012 7:30pm

temp fell again this morning

so did my optimisum

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krunchie29
Posts: 546

Reply by kde2011 » Mar. 27, 2012 10:01am

Snow - as sucky as it is i think if you felt the O pains maybe you did O? although i hope not but i would hate for you to have your hopes up high and it not happen this month. Your body is better the OPKs and CTP/FF.

Krunchie - when i get dealt a terrible hand in life (like having to walk 1.5mi to and from work) i try to think there is a reason why. as stupid as it sounds, its something that gets me through the shitty times. so there has to be a reason why TTC is really hard at the moment.

AFM (im really getting the hang of all the acronyms lol) my mom is better, but this AH has been beating on her. However, my mom is one of the strongest women i know (physically and mentally) and according to her she never backed down from him. I love my mom<3 (: And I hope that AH gets all that coming to him.

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kde2011
Posts: 10

Reply by bumblebaby8808 » Mar. 27, 2012 3:59pm

Snow, I'm hoping you have a GREAT birthday!

kde, that's crazy about your mom! But I like to hear women that refuse to back down from a man. I hope she can get him to realize what he's doing is wrong and unsafe though!

Krunchie, I looked at your chart here on ctp and it doesn't look terrible! It looks like it would still be above a cover line. But I know how you feel. As soon as you see the temp keeps going lower, your optimism drops to the basement too.

AFM, I go tomorrow morning for an u/s to check if there is a healthy follicle formed for us to do the iui this week. I am hopeful that there is because this morning I got a high reading on my monitor. I'm just afraid I will ovulate before i do the trigger shot and then the procedure! Either way, I hope this is the ONLY iui cycle I have to do!

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Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29)
TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS
1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's
6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13

Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

bumblebaby8808
Posts: 186

Reply by kde2011 » Mar. 30, 2012 2:05am

Bumble, how did everything go yesterday? (thinking positive)

afm, my chest and heart feel heavier then usual. I just so down right now. Its kinda depressing haha Bc Im basically putting myself here, by doing and saying stupid stuff but I cant help it. I hope a good nights rest will clear up my mind bc right all i can feel is heavy darkness. Just one of those days I think i always feel the end is near around my period, maybe bc i know shes almost here is whats bringing me down or maybe bc me and dh are irritated with each other...talking to him always makes me feel better...sigh

I hope you all are doing okay(:

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kde2011
Posts: 10

Reply by bumblebaby8808 » Mar. 30, 2012 5:09pm

Everything went good yesterday. MUCH easier than I thought! The trigger shot was the toughest part! I DEFINETLY think I ovulated today as I had some serious ovulation pains and cramping. Hoping it's a good sign! Gonna bd tonight and tomorrow morning just to be safe!

Kde, I know how you feel. I get like that alot twoards the end of my cycle. It's so hard to stay positive when time after time you get soooo hopeful and then get shit on when AF comes! But try not to get too down on yourself, and when you do we are all here to listen to you vent! Anyone who is actually ttc and not just starting out has been in a dark place before and will probably be there again before their ttc days are over! So as hard as it sounds, keep your chin up!! :)

I don't have much to complain about today. Just the fact that this TWW is going to drive me bonkers!!!

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Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29)
TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS
1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's
6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13

Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

bumblebaby8808
Posts: 186

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Mar. 31, 2012 7:18am

My grandfather isn't doing well. He's not going to make it much longer so I'm spending all my time at the hospital with him. I just had a break for breakfast and thought I'd tell you girls. I won't be around much but I'm rooting for all of you. Good luck.

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by bumblebaby8808 » Mar. 31, 2012 7:30am

Snow, I'm so sorry! Just cherish the time you have left with him, that's all you can do now.

AFM, I am beginning to thing the trigger shot didn't work and I haven't ovulated yet. Which would mean going in for the IUI on thursday was too early. So annoyed, upset, distraught, disappointed and depressed about it all right now. Here come the wave of wanting to give up and being sick of all this shit!!!!

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Me: Alicia (29) ~ DH: Patrick (29)
TTC #1 Since August 2009 with PCOS
1st & 2nd (March & May 2012) IUI Cycles w/ Clomid = BFN's
6/24/12 - 3rd IUI cycle w/ Gonal-F and Lupron. IUI on 7/9. TWINS! Born 2/11/13

Back on the NTNP train as of September 2013 hoping for a boy someday!

bumblebaby8808
Posts: 186

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Apr. 1, 2012 5:49am

My grandfather is still here. He's going down fighting until the very end but his prognosis is very bad. I've spent the last three nights and days in a chair by his bed.

This is all the more reason I want to be pregnant this cycle though it's the least of my worries right now. I want to give him a great grandchild. To bad I wasn't pregnant last cycle so I could have told him before he goes.

I love my grandfather very much and he means the world to me. I just hope he knows this and I made him proud. I just wish he'd be there for my wedding day and when I give birth. I didn't picture it without him.

Good luck ladies. I'm rooting for you all.

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by krunchie29 » Apr. 1, 2012 10:15pm

hi everyone

AF showed so no good for this cycle and as DH isnt going to be home for the next few O dates we are done until the specialist appointment in May

so prob wont be around very much now.

Snow - i hope he passes with dignity and as least pain as possible. Just because he wont be here, doesnt mean he wont be with you always. Ask him to have a word with whom ever is on the other side and see if he can help speed up your TTC journey from over there! then you know its a blessing from him and that he is always thinking of you. Do you have something small of his that is now yours? Maybe tell him you will have that with you on your wedding day so he will be with you. I find these kinds of discussions help both those who are left behind deal with the loss and helps the others to pass easier knowing their loved ones are in their hearts. xx

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krunchie29
Posts: 546

Reply by _snowwhite_ » Apr. 2, 2012 2:52pm

Grampy passed away this morning at 6:30am. I'm utterly heartbroken.

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_snowwhite_
Posts: 850

Reply by Expecting2Expect » Apr. 2, 2012 3:02pm

Jil - Just wanting to say how sorry I am to hear about your Grandpa Sending lots of & 's your way right now.

I'm thinking of all your ladies!
Joy

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Expecting2Expect
Posts: 1925