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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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I'm not sure, I didn't have anything like that.

7 years ago


Hi Ladies,
Sorry to be MIA for a couple of days. AF started late Sunday night. I was expecting it, but was still trying to be hopeful. We aren't going to do anything with the fertility clinic until after the holidays. I have family visiting this month and we are travelling to see family over the holidays (and will be staying with them). So I don't think there will be a tonne of focused ttcing and obviously no time/ability to go to the clinic (it's a 3.5 hour plane ride away) over the next couple of cycles anyways. So I am thinking of it as a little bit of a break, I am not sure if I will even bother with OPK's this cycle. I have already enjoyed having more than one coffee the past two mornings! lol

@babybump- I am not sure what that stands for. Maybe the HS at the end of for Hystosonogram? Wish I could be of more help but most of our testing is covered where I live, so I actually don't see the invoice for it.

How is everyone else doing? I promise I will still check in!

7 years ago


twwtoolong - that's probably a good idea to give yourself a brain break from it all. We try not to become obsessive about it, but its always in our minds - we ladies just cant help it :)

I'm assuming that's what it meant too. Hubs is having surgery to get the chemo port put in on Tuesday so chemo will be starting in about 1 week. We have now had every member of each family (parents and siblings) tell us to ask about our fertility chances now vs after chemo, and we're just saying "yeah we will thanks" knowing that was the first thing we did and we've already got a little stock supply frozen. Those grandparents want some more grandbabies and now we're feeling the pressure for it even more! I know they don't expect it to happen while all of the cancer stuff is being dealt with, I'm more worried they'll think we're crazy for going through with it and having them overlap like this.


7 years ago • Post starter


Thanks Babybump - It's totally hard to not obsess, especially when you are going to a fertility clinic every other day in the middle of your cycle, and knowing your body has done what it's supposed to do and that our timing was just right!

I hear ya with the grandparent pressure. My DH is an only child and I only have one sibling who is older than me and is not sure that she will ever have children. It actually might crush me if she were to get pregnant (she is 150lbs overweight and he and her husband are not in a good place right now and I know they are very much preventing at the moment). So for both sets of our parents we are the only hope for grandbabies.

My parents don't know of our struggles at the moment, though I think I am going to talk to my mom when she comes up in a couple of weeks. We have hinted about it in the past that with them that we have been trying, so I think they suspect that things may not be going as planned. My dad had mumps when he was little, so they weren't sure that they would be able to have kids and I think they get the picture.

My DH's parents know, he's an open book with them and his mom went through a number of miscarriages before she had him and has always been very open about it. So they were bad about inquiring and teasing us about it in the past, but are pretty good about it now.

You guys are so amazing to have the strength to get through all this. Hopefully chemo will go smoothly and you will get your BFP in Dec and start that family you so want!

Hugs!

7 years ago


Baby bump- good luck with everything and I'm praying it all goes well:-)

Twwtoolong- I agree, all I have done for the past year is obsess. It's def hard not to when going to the fertility clinic. It's all I think about daily, I just want to have baby so bad. My cousins are due in the next few months so makes family gatherings hard, plus my sister is actively trying so I'm waiting for her positive. I had my appt with my RE yesterday and will start my third IVF at the end of December:-) I just need to stay busy these next 2 months. I'm such an impatient person so am trying to work on that.

7 years ago


Not a good day ladies. I had my appointment for the scope test where they used both a little camera and an inserted ultrasound to look around at the pipes. Learned a lot of things about myself and found out why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. My left ovary is in the wrong place and has a lot of scarring, my fallopian tubes are not letting anything pass into them, and I am only producing 2 eggs when it is supposed to be 7-9. Obviously the biggest problem is the fallopian tubes being blocked, because that's where the sperm needs to go to fertilize. They said we could try IUI if we wanted just because it's cheaper than IVF, but that we would run into the same problem of the tubes are blocked so theres less than a 5% chance of it even working.

We also talked IVF and said thats about the only way to even guarantee a good chance at conceiving, the price is our only setback on that. So we have a little talking to do, we have until my next CD1 to decide what we want to do and we're definitely leaning towards IVF, just need to justify the cost. I would hate to invest that much (money and mental sanity) and then have IVF fail.

Just wanted to keep you ladies posted. ttc for a year now and found out today we never had a chance for getting a bfp.


7 years ago • Post starter


Luckykap I want to pick your brain some. We're officially on the IVF route and I just hung up with the clinic asking about kind of the process, and she mentioned how they would start me out on BC - did you have to do that as well and if so do you know why?

Also she told me they dont do embryo transfers during December cycles...that seems really strange.


7 years ago • Post starter


Hi baby bump- my clinic is the same way. I think the lab shuts down for at least a week in December, that's one reason why I won't start stimming until the end of Dec or beginning of January. My issue is egg quality so I'm taking supplements that can potentially help it so the doc didn't want to rush it either. I will begin my birth control pills with my period in December so at least I know the cycle will be rolling :-) With the birth control pills they are able to time things better and also it helps to keep the ovaries quiet. I know with my first IVF I didn't take it and ended up with 2 lead follicles and the cycle was cancelled and the second time none jumped out in front. I think it suppresses. What protocol will you be doing?
If you have any questions just let me know, unfortunately I'm becoming a pro at this lol.

7 years ago


No I appreciate it so much! I mean you probably know as much as I do, just a little more details since you've already started it! What do you mean protocols? I feel like everything on my end is kind of being rushed a bit, they said normally they wouldn't even jump straight to IVF but since we only have a limited amount of sperm they don't want to waste it on something that has such low chances unless we just want to. So it feels very..quick. haha I feel like I havent gotten much explained, like protocols.


7 years ago • Post starter


There are a few different protocols that I know of for IVF. The one I did this last time and will do again is microdose Lupron. With it I do bcp for 21 days then go in for my start cycle US before done with bcp to make sure ovaries are quiet and no cysts. Then 2 days after last bcp I start microdose 2x/day and then 2 days after that I will add in the stim meds, so end up taking 4 shots a day. Last time I stimmed for 14 days, hopefully this time will be fewer lol. My follicles were slow. When are they going to start your bcp and stims?
I rushed into the first one and wished I hadn't. The second went fairly well minus the bfn, so hoping patience with this will help, plus the supplements. It is definitely draining emotionally and financially, but when I get that BFP if willl all be worth it. I can tell you getting that bfn after IVF affected me so much more emotionally than after my 8 IUIs. With the IUIs I was able to move on pretty quick and move to the next cycle but with IVF there's a long break between bc my doc wants you to wait a cycle between, plus the December thing. It took me a good 2 weeks to get back emotionally and another reason I think it was hard was bc you know there are fertilized embryos in there just needing to implant. Anyway, age is not on my side so Praying 3rd times a charm.

7 years ago



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