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Current 11dpo looking for fellow first timers for support

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Hi all, we have been TTC our first for 6 months now and I have been on these boards reading almost every single day, this process has now gotten so obsessive to me my DH is tired of me over analyzing everything only to be let down with a BFN every single month.

I'm 11dpo now, AF is due on Saturday (5/14) and I have taken probably 6 internet cheapies since 9dpo and I keep getting BFN. Every month I feel like I get the symptoms, then just chalk them up to AF time. This month has been a bit different:

0-7dpo: Not much change, I just noticed I was VERY gassy (like I am during AF) and bloated
8dpo: breasts got very tender and I was woken up to cramps during the night.
9dpo: breasts still tender, starting to get noticeable veins, mild cramps on and off again waking me up in the night. BFN (tested today because of Mother's Day, thought it would be a sign and a welcome surprise)
10dpo: Still bloated/gassy, breast tenderness goes down, veins disappearing, thick CM appears BFN
11dpo: Today - breasts only sore to the touch. Still bloated and gassy. No hints of anything else.

I am one who has VERY painful cramps at AF time and never thought I really cramped beforehand, the last few months I've gotten these mild cramps a couple of days early which then led to AF, but this time they were a full 7 days before AF which has never happened and I feel this is making me obsess even more.

I hope you ladies accept me into the community! I just know and hope having some support will help ease my mind and if another BFN pops up I know I will need the help to get through it and start from scratch again :(


713 Replies • 7 years ago


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I really cramped just as the dye was injected but when the test was finished I was fine the rest of the day, just some spotting. Hope this helps and good luck!

7 years ago


Oh tww I'm so happy you're getting some answers! Did they say if the follicle was blocking anything? I've heard all kinds of things about the SHG test and pain, I think it really depends on the person if it will happen to you. I get really bad cramps during AF so I'm assuming I would need to take something - if you're absolutely against medicine I say wait and see how it affects you then take it to stop the pain (if its unbearable) otherwise take it beforehand just to be prepared!


7 years ago • Post starter


Thanks luckykap! I have never taken anything to deal with AF cramping before and believe that I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I think I am just going to see how it is and if I need something afterwards, I'll take it.

@Babybump - the follice that they saw is likely the one that will plump up and release an egg when it's ready. Ususally by midcycle - close to ovulation the dominant follicle should be 22-24 mm (can range from 18-36). So nothing unusual at the moment. I am really interested to see what comes back from my SHG - especially since I had to have the transvaginal US repeated last Dec because they suspected a fibroid or polyp on my cervix (the second US looked as though there was nothing there). The first US was taken really close to ovulation (she actually said that it looked like I just had a follicle rupture/had just ovulated) so my cervix would have been low and open, so maybe there is something just inside that they could see on the first one, but with a different cervical position for the second one, they wouldn't see. Who knows, it's all speculation and I am totally overthinking everything now!

How are you ladies all doing?

7 years ago


Hi Ladies,
I hope you all had a great long weekend. I am trying to patiently wait until my SHG on Thursday and then post coital likely on Friday and then baby dance all next weekend and wait for the results of all of our tests.

OK- I need a total vent and I don't know where else would be appropriate, in fact I don't like it that I feel like I need to vent at all, but I know that you ladies will understand....

I was feeling ok about all the stuff that is going on, trying to be patient, telling myself we still have a little time to figure things out depending on the results of the testing this month. Then I went to my Uncle's place for a family BBQ lastnight and my cousin's sister in-law was in town and joined us for supper. She is of course pregnant. Not just pregnant, but like "it's a miracle!" pregnant....naturallly...for the second time. She was diagnosed with a prolasped uterus when she was a teenager, had to have surgery to correct it and was told it would be very difficult to get pregnant and even if she did, she would be highly likely to miscarry. When she got pregnant with her first, they weren't trying, she was still on the pill but was taking antibiotics (reduces the effectivness of the pill) and got pregnant. Thankfully she had a beautiful baby girl.

Recently, she had to have the surgery a second time and the doctor said that if they were wanting to have a second baby, that she would likely need to do IVF. Guess what, that month, she got pregnant .....her husband was out of town most of the month ......they only did it once [can you hear the sound of the pin dropping]. She outlined this whole story in detail, including that when she did the HPT she was hoping it wouldn't be positive because they had a weekend of partying planned and a trip down south booked. It was like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the heart.

My cousin (whose sister-in-law) is the one mentioned above, is probably the only person in my side of the family that knows a little bit about how much we are stuggling, though I haven't told her that we are in the middle of an investigative cycle. So I had no option but to stuff down my feelings and say congratualtions and how it must have just meant to be.

I can usually keep my jealousy in check around my friends who are pregnant, you never know who long it took them or what they had to go through, so I try not to let those feelings overwhelm me, but it was really hard to not let it get me down lastnight. I gotta say, I am having a hard day today trying to not get upset over it.

I hope you are all having a better long weekend than me right now!

7 years ago


Oh twwtoolong I'm so sorry :( There is a new teacher at my school who is pregnant, she is just a couple months younger than me and already has 2 kids, her husband has 2 kids, so this will be #5. She repeatedly talks about how she wishes they hadn't gotten pregnant because their house is too small, they already have enough kids between them, it really isn't a good time, its unplanned, etc but then will make 1,000 comments of "I can't eat that because I'm pregnant" "I had to spend my whole paycheck on new clothes because I'm pregnant"...I've just stopped responding. It's a new school so no one there knows how long we've been trying so I just quietly cringe with every comment because she's complaining about things I would kill for.

It's tough. It's like the part of ttc no one talks about is having to keep your jealousy in check with every pregnancy announcement and cases like that.

My fertile week started yesterday and DH and I baby danced last night and are going into our every other night. We had a little "moment" beforehand where we were deciding if it was happening because we WANTED to or if it was just the baby making brain and I had a meltdown of "whats even the point, its not going to happen anyway". It's like I'm going into each cycle not even expecting a good outcome anymore


7 years ago • Post starter


@babybump - That has got to be so hard. Most of the women I work with are older and have already had kids, so I at least feel like I can get a little bit of a break from it at work!

We have worked hard at trying to keep the baby dancing fun and enjoyable. We have a deal that instead of me saying, "we have to do it tonight, I'm ovulating", I show up in lingere and he'll get the message (we actually discussed this). To be honest, I think it's kept it a little more fun and less mechanical. I do feel pretty lucky, we both had fairly high libido, so even weeks when we aren't trying (before FW and after) we will still tend to BD 5-7 times a week, sometimes more, never less (hence why it is shocking to me that we haven't gotten pregnant).

DH is having a bit of a hard time with this whole investigative cycle business, he doesn't really want to admit that we might need help. I think he believes that going to the fertility clinic is a one way street to IVF and that there is nothing in between. So it's been a challenge to get him involved on that side of things (although they really don't have to do that much, however, I can't imagine that providing a sample in a cup is all that fun).

UGH- just having a blah day- what can I say!

Have fun BDing - or at least try!

7 years ago


DH is the same way, it must just be a guy thing. He doesn't like the idea of it not happening naturally, he's more in the mindset of lets just keeping bd'ing and it'll happen when it happens, if it doesn't then it just doesn't. He didn't 100% want to do the sperm analysis, but he was willing to since it was the easiest way to get some answers but I doubt I talk him into more lol We did talk a little last night about how I do want to look into some tests if it hasn't happened and he said to wait until December and if it hasn't happened by then then our big Christmas gift to each other will be to go through all of the testing.


7 years ago • Post starter


twwtoolong- I'm the same way with the jealousy, I'm usually pretty good at hiding it. There's been 2 babies here at work and 2 more due in less than 2 weeks. Then another lady just found out she's pregnant. It's so so hard, I just keep wondering when it's going to be my turn! I'll be 37 and a girl I coached on a 12 and under team about 10-11 years ago just had a baby 2 days ago.
I start my shots this week, so I'm praying this will be the month :-) I feel good about this cycle, so hopefully it will be my BFP! Good luck to you ladies and I'm def in the same boat when it comes to everyone around getting pregnant except for yourself.

7 years ago


Got the solid smiley face few days ago and bd the few days up to it (well every other). Then a lot two days after solid smiley face.

Just waiting around for 2 weeks for period (hopefully not).
Feel like everyone else getting pregnant around here too.....

Baby dust for all!

7 years ago


Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing well.

babybump, I'm really sorry about your faint positive. There's nothing worse than getting your hopes up only to be let down. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, as always.

TWW, good luck with the testing. I hope you'll at least find some answers.

I've been absent because I'm taking some time off from ACTIVELY trying. We're still trying, just trying to not get so stressed out about it. Trying in the aspect of I write my anticipated fertile window on the calendar so my SO can see it and he'll know it's time to BD. That's it though. No OPKs, no POAS. We'll see what happens. Today is my CD 28, so tomorrow should be the telltale day.

BTW - I've been absent, but also staying up to date on everyone's journey. I just promised myself a stress free month, and I think I accomplished it!
Good luck to everyone!

7 years ago



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