Community post
Confessions and Frustrations of ttc Women
Hi to all of you ladies who are experiencing struggles and frustrations during this ttc journey.
This thread is a spin-off of past threads by Pookerdooks and Expecting2Expect, which acted as a safe haven to vent, share, complain, and confess the negative feelings we all have at dark moments during this ttc journey. I found the treads in the past were (for me) very helpful in getting out a lot of anger and negative feelings that had built up over the course of my ttc journey. I hope that I can find others like me who need a place to vent and confess those negative thoughts we have instead of carrying them around with us.
I must insist however that no one judges anyone elses' posts. If you don't agree with a complaint or a vent. Keep it to yourself. This is a safe haven and a No-Judging-Allowed-Zone. Feel free to vent your negativity here and get the negative energy out. If your feeling guilty for your negative thoughts then feel free to confess them with ttc women who understand.
Starting things off . . . . I'm Becca, 29 and am approaching my 1 year mark of ttc #1.
Confession #1 - I immediately feel angry and jealous when I see women at the store with baby bumps. I cant help it and then I feel sorry for myself that I don't have one.
Confession #2 - I am so frustrated with women who I've talked to that get pregnant and then say, "Oh it will happen for you, after all it happened for me." I know they mean well, but I don't want to hear it. I think, "Its easy for you to say since you already are pregnant!
Confession #3 - I feel angry when people tell me its all about God's timing. I believe in God, but I don't want people saying this to me, it is extremely hurtful! Your saying God has chosen to keep me from getting pregnant until its the right time? What time will that be? I'm 29, do I need to be 40 for it to be the "right time"?
WELCOME to all ttc women regardless of how long you have been ttc or what you have to vent about. . . . . .
44 Replies • 11 years ago
Pregnancy test calculator
Use this calculator to help you decide when to take your first home pregnancy test.
Replies
I have been thinking about that call and im really angry that I am forced to make the call at all. No offense Shannon, but I refuse to be greatful that I can go to a fertility clinic and find out that I have a broken uterus. Millions of women have babies every day including crack heads and women working the wellfare system. Im just one of the unlucky ones that has to have fertility issues.
Yes im going to make that call cuz I want a baby but im going to feel as angry and pissed off about it as I want. In my opinion, its bull shit that any woman should have to deal with infertility. Accepting the reality of this situation is accepting that life is cruel, unfair, and aspects of it are completely out of my control.
My next door neighbor is 5 months pregnant with her second baby and she was pregnant after a few months of ttc. As the summer goes by I am watching her belly grow while looking at negative hpts and having af show up every month. Every time I see her I feel like im dying inside, it hurts so bad and all I can think is why has the universe taken a shit on me. Im angery, pissed off and im not going to look at the bright side of things.
Honestly im going to be angry and im going to greive. I dont believe in putting on a brave face and a fake smile, especially on this particular thread that was meant to be a place to vent our anger and dark feelings instead of surpressing them while they destroy us inside.
Im just trying to vent as a way of dealing with my emotions. Thanks for letting me get this stuff off my chest.
Becca
11 years ago • Post starter
i know where your coming from hun, one of my best friends is pregnant, and got preg on there first try, its hard for me, and i try to be supportive and excited for her, but its hard, so i know how you feel, i know its not easy to come to terms with the fact you might need outside help to become pregnant, but you seem to be a very strong person, a year of ttc can show you just how strong you are, even if you feel like your breaking, i know you can do this, i hope you will keep us updated, maybe while you're waiting for an appt, you will get a surprise! ive heard of that happening :)
11 years ago
"Everything happens for a reason" "There must have been something wrong with it"- said in relation to my miscarriage and inability to concieve, what like my babies are evil or something and best out of this world?
"God has a plan" - to make me want a baby but take it away from me then stop me concieving?
"Forget about it and it'll happen" - Only fertile like 24 hours in a month... hmmm...
and I HATE late AF and a nice grrr! haha
11 years ago
Thanx Shannon, I was really pissed off at like 3 am I wrote all that. Lol Feeling a little bit better now.
Elle AMEN to everything you wrote!!!!! What a load of crap! Had to laugh as I was reading it. Cant believe how stupid and insensitive some people are!
My CURRENT GRIPE dollar tree test evap lines!!! Need I say more???? Those stupid little mini tests jerk me around every cycle!!! Ive had very convincing PINK second lines and then I test on a different brand its negative every time!!!!!! Seriously what the Crap. Then the next month I stupidly buy more. Lol Whats wrong with me! Seriously!
11 years ago • Post starter
We have been ttc for over a year. I cry every time my bbt drops and I know AF is just walking up the front walk and crush me yet again. I feel defeated, pushed down, kicked and stabbed all because of a drop in my temp.
I feel like I'm doing the walk of shame when I go to the drug store to to buy yet another box of tampons (I refuse to buy them in advance anymore - if she shows, I'll buy but until then, not gonna do it). I walk out defeated, embarrassed and cursing under my breath. And then to return two weeks later to buy yet another box of ovulation test and a pregnancy test, praying that these two boxes will be the last I need for a year or so. I have started to go to different drug stores so that the ladies at the one by my house won't give me "that look" anymore.
I am angry and irritated that my insurance doesn't cover any infertility help. Even if I mention it in a visit with my dr, the insurance guy warned me to be careful because if the dr notes or anything in regards to infertility they may not pay for that visit! UGH!!! Seriously!!!????
11 years ago
Shannon glad im not the only one buying those stupid tests!!!! Lol
Aryian I feel your pain girl!!! I make that walk of shame every month as well when I buy more ovulation kits and more hpts. im always embarrassed and worried about what the employees are thinking.
Insurance for infertility treatments is a total joke in the us! Me and dh have good insurance with his new job, but anything remotely related to infertility is 100% NOT COVERED!!!! If I want to get any treatment at all its going to be completely out of pocket. Its soooooo depressing cuz we are trying to get out of debt not go into MORE debt! The most pathetic part of this story is that we have fabulous maternity coverage. ha ha good thing we have insurance!!!!!!! What a joke!
11 years ago • Post starter
Shannon and Becca: I must say that I too get caught up in buying those damn cheap ass tests that just cause more issues than they should. UGH! We are all going to go crazy. I just wait for a news story to come on about the "new addiction" that scientists have researched called -crazyladyhpt addiction- I'm sure it will hit the news sooner or later and my photo will be blasted out into the world. LOL.
Feeling much better today and I have to say that although I'm extremely happy for the four friends on the site who have gotten pregnant, I'm so freakin green with jealousy!!!!
11 years ago
Early pregnancy symptoms by day past ovulation
What signs and symptoms are most common on each day past ovulation?
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