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He wont change and how to make sex interesting?

My fiance has been drinking more than he should and he wont change because we're TTC. I feel that this severely impacts our chances of having a baby. This makes me so angry at him. I tend to think "What's the point?". And it makes me want to use a lot of swear words.

Secondly, how do I have spontaneity when it comes to sex? We are both bad at making time to have sex. He comes home and is stressed about work, something I don't see changing, and sits at his computer and plays his games. I sit in the other room and watch TV. Then it gets late, he eats, and we go to bed. Though it may sound like a loveless relationship, I assure you it's not. Sex is my responsibility to initiate and I want to know how to do it in a fun way. Any suggestions?

Sorry for the long post.

1 Answer • 6 years ago


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Have u had his sperm checked? Heavy drinking can affect sperm, but it isn't something that's written in stone. My husband drank almost daily, not just a beer or two either, after a year of trying we had him tested (when I was checked), and his count, motility and morph were all well above avg. Have him checked and talk to him about his drinking. Is this something u wanna deal with when ur pregnant or when baby is here? This is all stuff u need to consider and discuss with him. See if he's open to taking vitamins to help clean up any damage he's doing to his sperm. Every little bit helps.
As for the sex, why is it ur responsibility to initiate? It's a two person act, so the responsibility shouldn't fall on one person all the time. I dont think it all sounds loveless, I think it sounds like ur both comfortable with the way life is. It happens to every couple. It's not easy trying to live in the honeymoon stage...it doesn't work either. Talk to him!
Best of luck! =))


6 years ago


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