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Is it unreasonable to not want your in-laws visiting you in the hospital?

My in-laws have always looked down on my family and I and my mother in law was so rude the last time my husband and I went to see her she had some snide comments about my mom and my husband and I taking care of her. I don't want her visiting our baby or me in the hospital, I didn't want her there with our first born either. She has always made me feel like an outsider and after her attitude about my taking care of my mother I actually hate the women.
I told my husband I didn't want her at the hospital and explained why and he basically turned everything around on me saying that I imagined the tone in his mother's voice and the prying about my mother's medical conditions and the snide comments. The last two days I've been considering getting a second job and asking him to give me space so I can take care of my family on my own and not burden his mother's precious little boy. Am I wrong feeling this way?

2 Answers • 6 years ago


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I have a MIL that I cannot stand to even think about, let alone be around...that woman will outlive us all! Men have a hard time seeing what we do when it comes to their mother. Women are sneaky and are very good at passive aggressiveness. I spent years trying to make my husband see the nastiness in MIL's comments but he just couldn't. Honestly, don't bother pushing him to see it, she will mess up and he will see it. That's when every other thing she did will come flooding back and hit him like a tonne of bricks. It just takes time. Let her f-up...she will!
As for the hospital thing, that's ur call. U choose who comes in ur room and when. If ur worried about ppl not abiding to ur wishes, let the nurses know ahead of time and they will turn them away before u ever see them. My in-laws don't come to the hospital at all. I don't even let them come to my house til I've had a week or so to heal and bond with MY baby. They had their kids, this one is urs, u call the shots!


6 years ago


You're the one giving birth, YOU choose who is there. In fact, during my birthing class, they recommended limiting the visitors. Having people there is a distraction and can cause prolonged labor, and if any of those people stressed you out, it can not only cause labor complications but your stress can also stress out the baby. If you don't want her there, do not feel obligated to. I didn't have my MIL there, and it caused HUGE drama (be prepared for the blowout afterward) but it was worth it to avoid the added stress. Best of luck to you.

6 years ago


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