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Hi, Does she know that you are trying? I find when people who have infertility issues know that you are trying then the shock of your announcing your pregnancy is easier to handle as they would have mentally prepared themselves that an announcement would come soon. It's difficult when they have no clue and you spring it on them and especially if u say something insensitive like it happened the first time we tried!! I would definitely tell her sooner rather than later but in a sensitive fashion, don't make a big announcement in front of a lot of people and expect her to be ecstatic for you. Rather speak to her alone and say something like this - “I wanted you to be the first to know that I’m pregnant.i know that you and (her partner/hubby's name) have been trying for a long time and though I admit I don’t understand fully what you’re going through,I want you to know that I care about you deeply and I want to be there for you.im praying that your iui is a success

Thats such a touchy subject. I was in the same situation (minus the IUI) but roles reversed. My GF got pregnant, complete accident. She wasnt overly nice telling me, she more or less bitched that she was pregnant and didnt want the baby, then told me how much it was gonna eff up her life and wished it away. She mc'd a cpl wks later, then played the pity card and told everyone about her mc and how bad she wanted that baby. I was livid! I would wait to tell her. Wait til ur a little further along, in case things dont go as planned with the pregnancy. That gives her time to absorb her good/bad news from the IUI and/or get back into TTC mode, it also gives ur pregnancy a little more time to really "stick", so to speak. U def dont wanna kick her while she's down then look for support if something goes wrong. I say hold off a bit...pretend u didnt know. If u dont wanna wait a few weeks, def do it asap, like yesterday!!
Congrats! =))

We weren't trying. I was stopping BC bc of several reasons, but trying to get pregnant wasn't one of them. At least for several months. We were planning on trying this fall.

Thank you for your responses, like I said, I only have a few days to decide!

I personally would wait. At least until she finds out the outcome of the iui and has a plan started for next cycle. Please be extra sensitive. It really hurts hearing someone close to you who knows uve been struggling for a long time telling u that they managed to get pregnant while not ttc on complete accident.

I watched pretty much everyone around me get pregnant over the 6+ years I was struggling with infertility, some women had 2 or 3 babies even. I felt like it hurt more when people waited and I was the last to know because they didn't want to hurt me. I hated being left out of the loop. I really appreciated the people that told me early on and didn't put it off which it more awkward. Yes it will hurt her, but probably not because she's upset you are pregnant. I was genuinely happy for all my friends. Definitely tell her in a private way, not in person is actually best. If someone told me in person I felt extreme pressure to smile, hug, congratulate, act happy, etc right away but it felt fake. A quick phone call or text gave me time to process, cry over my own situation in private, move on and then get back to them with a genuine congratulations at my own pace.

Well I guess you need to think about it and decide but definitely don't tell other people and leave her out bcoz you think it will upset her. That would be the worst!! Might be an idea like Dakota girl said to hold off for a bit, I think some folks wait till 3 months usually before they make an announcement to anyone else other than close family. In the interim you could lay the gourd work that you are planning to try for another. So that when you do have to tell her it isn't that hard. And let's all hope and pray she gets pregnant with the iui. It's just been 4 months of trying and I'm already going bonkers! Can't imagine what that poor woman is going through!!! Take care and enjoy your pregnancy and congratulations to you! Forgot to mention in the previous post as the characters got over!!!

Sorry typo - ground work! And another thing I was thinking considering your history and your own personal loss I think your bff would be happy for you knowing how much you have struggled in the past so don't underestimate her. Just try to be as nice as possible! Take care and good luck for a smooth 9 months and peaceful easy delivery!

I think it depends on your friend! As well as your relationship with her. You know her best!
Eg, I have two friends who w fertility issues, the first I have know for 7+ years, when I met her she was TTC with her partner, however they broke up, she moved on, married & has been TTC with her husband. I have had 2 children in the time I have known her & she has been very happy for me, my children call her their Aunty. If I was to fall pregnant, I would tell her straight away. She might be a little sad for herself, but would be happy for me, being in on it straight away, I think would make her feel good.
I have another friend, she has 2 children, but they were conceived through IVF & though happy for me, I think she would feel a little bitter that I was pregnant & fell naturally. I think me being pregnant would be hard for her, so I wouldnt tell her till after the 12 week scan, when I could show her a 'baby'. I think she would deal with a baby, rather than a pregnancy much