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Please help me come to terms with this? Why, why, why?
I got a positive pregnancy test for my 40th birthday in February. A good strong one! I had my first scan at 6w 2d and bub was perfect for dates with a hb of 117. I started yucky but comforting m/s and had a second scan at 7w 6d when my vomiting stopped for 3 days suddenly but that was perfect with hb of 160 and hcg of 61000 & my m/s came back! At 9 weeks I had diahrrea for 2 days and developed a headache that never went & my m/s went away again. 4 days ago, 11w 2days I had my first antenatal appt and they couldn't find a hb & a scan showed bub had died. I had a d&c on Thursday. It was perfect until it wasn't. They said no testing as it was an isolated event so no answers. I've had 2 miscarriages before but 2 children since and they hurt too but I knew both times with those that something wasn't right. This has been a shock. I'm so scared this was my last chance. I didn't expect this. Help me? Please?
4 Answers • 9 years ago
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With my most recent miscarriage my dr ordered a biopsy as we had had so many previous losses. The biopsy showed that baby had trisomy 15. Subsequently, I was tested to see if I was a carrier of that genetic problem. The outcome: I am not a carrier, the bill is $4,000 and the insurance refuses to pay. So, although I did get some answers, in the end I didn't get any that would make a difference for my life or for the decision over TTC again or not. So we are trying again. Whether this was your and my last chance to have a baby - I don't know, only God knows. The answer "why" we were struck by such tragedies is also unclear, only God knows. Since we don't have any responsibilities over our losses we simply must pray, trust, and obey. Wishing you peace, comfort, and patience with yourself, energy and confidence to move forward with TTC again whenever you decide and the time is right. I am very sorry that you have to go through this.
9 years ago
Thanku ladies and thanku Mozart for your wisdom. It feels like a mean prank. Was I even ever pregnant or was I treated to a pre-recorded video of a healthy pregnancy in the scan office the first two times?! I am feeling quite lost, miserable and bitter today. And I need to pray forgiveness! Today I have developed a terrible case of Tourette's. I'll momentarily forget and then I'll notice I'm wearing a pad and then I remember why and profanity spews out of my mouth! X
9 years ago • Post starter
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