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Awwwww......I am so sorry you have these feelings. Would you consider seeking counseling ? This could help sorting everything out and making you comfortable and confident for the upcoming weeks plus baby's birth. Hugs!

I have seen a counselor a few times...I just can't seem to be honest about my feelings when speaking to one. I downplay everything I am feeling and leave giving them the impression that I have a mild case of the baby blues, and not that I am dying inside. Then, I have a day like today when I just snap and cannot get out of bed and just cry all day

Is there anything that makes you feel better? Activities, light workouts, friendships, church? I hope you will get through this soon. I will say a prayer.

Oh sweetheart, is this your first baby? I'll tell you a bit of my story, maybe you can relate and it might help a little. My first pregnancy was a complete shock. The whole pregnancy I felt completely detached and overwhelmed. I knew nothing about babies and was terrified I would not fall in love with my baby and would wind up feeling like I was enslaved to a life of servitude - doing the right thing by the child but secretly feeling trapped on the inside. Right up until I actually gave birth I was worried I would love my cat more! I didn't know how to deal with what I was feeling and kept it bottled up inside. The second I saw my baby though I did fall in love. Unlike anything I have ever felt before. A couple of years later I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was very disappointed but coped ok until fell pregnant again immediately after with twins and miscarried again. I was devastated. I fell pregnant again immediately! Three pregnancies in a row. cont...

Cont... This third pregnancy was healthy but I was full of mixed emotions as I passed two due dates. I felt so confused and guilty because I was disappointed I was only having one baby as tho twins would have made up for the ones I lost. I was thankful as for a short time I was afraid I'd never get another baby at all. I still wonder now who the little babies were that I lost. BUT again, when my baby arrived maternal instinct took over and marvelling at her perfection overtook all those confusing feelings. My life would be empty without my children. I know you are scared but once you have your warm squirming hungry bundle in your arms you won't be able to stop counting eyelashes and marvelling over their perfect tiny toenails! Don't be afraid to seek support and be honest. No one has the right to judge you. If you still struggle once baby arrives you are not alone and it is manageable and well understood. I wish you nothing but the best and soon this will all be a memory. :)

Hi, I stumbled across this Site that might help! I'm just a little alarmed at the mention of "dying inside". A GF of mine had something like this happen to her it was to the point where she could barely talk about the pregnancy & wouldn't answer the phone & completely isolated herself... It was very scary for her sounds like some professional support might be very helpful! She went to her doctor & explained her feelings which were more than the baby blues & they suggested support, she went through a few counsellors before she found one she could open up to - that was the most important thing, that she felt comfortable enough to talk!
http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/depression-during-pregnancy/