Community post

Gosh, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. In my situation, I am the one with the issues... but I can't even imagine if it were my husband. Consult a fertility doctor and see what they recommend doing. Modern medicine performs miracles!

@ Rymurkit
Thank you for your response. It is hard that it's him and not me. Just not sure where to go now. We've already seen the fertility specialist who ordered the SA. They just told him over the phone to follow up with a urologist. Really? No recommendations or advice other than to follow up with a Urologist. I was a bit put off by that and expected that this journey would be with a team and not several separate doctors. So now I'm on the hunt for a urologist. You'd think that would be easy but how to choose? How to find one that may specialize in infertility......
I'm just trying to stay relaxed and help my DH through as he's really taking this hard and feels "bad". Told him it's not about him, it's about us and that we would figure it out together. Not really sure what else to do or say.

At least it's not both of you like it was with me and my dh! You can try to get his numbers up naturally. If he is smoking or drinking, even just occasionally, ask him to stop right away sometimes that alone makes a big difference. You can also have him try fertility vitamins for men. Another step would be to have him see a urologist to see if there is a medical/fixable reason why his numbers are low like a blocked duct or varicoceles which can be fixed surgically. Men can also take clomid to try to increase sperm production. It takes 3 months for men to generate new sperm so if you have him tested again you won't see a difference for a couple months. You can also see a RE to explore options like IUI and IVF. IUI will get his best swimmers closer to the destination. IVF is the best choice for severe male factor issues but you should probably eliminate other options first, unless your insurance covers IVF then you are very lucky!

@AnxiouslyAwaiting
My husband had his first SA was done at his regular doctor. The results came back as "potentially low" and she referred us to a urologist. He did the test again, and it was perfectly fine. In fact, better than fine! His regular doctor admitted that she didn't really know what to test for.

Urologists just know what to test for, I guess! But one would think a fertility specialist would know too. I would find a list of urologists and then just pick up the phone and call each office for a recommendation on who deals with infertility in men.

I know that I am really hard on myself because I am the one with the issues ovulating. My husband doesn't really know what to say either, but he is really supportive. That is all you can do.

Thanks so much for your responses. We're moving in the right direction, but I guess I expected something different once we started seeing a fertility specialist. Like I mentioned before, I just thought it would be more of a team effort.

I am sorry you are going through this, it's a tough road. My DH and I both have issues, but he's definitely taken it harder. I also knew I would have issues and he was sort of blindsided. Being referred to a urologist is common practice I think. From what I've been told RE is for me and urologist is for him. I'm surprised they didn't provide recommendations for one that specializes in male infertility. Hopefully they will find a reason for the counts and be able to improve them. For us it was severe male factor and there was nothing wrong with him physically or hormonally so we went straight to IVF. Many other couples on the boards have had success improving numbers and not having to go this route. I think it's just important for him to know that no matter what you are in this together and he shouldn't look at it like its only his problem.Other than that, I can only echo what others have said about a healthy lifestyle and vitamins until you see the urologist.

@thornto
Thanks for your reply.
He told me the results were .7 million and no motility. The nurse said they like to see at least 1 million for IVF. I was surprised too that they didn't make a recommendation. I'm wondering if DH was too upset to really pay attention to much else that was said. I called them back and they advised of a Urologist they refer to so we're in the right direction. I just wish I could find him some success stories or research showing we're not out of this along with some comparison situations that are similar to ours. At this point he just keeps apologizing. I'm so sad for him.

You wouldn't want it to be you.... operations, MRI scans, ultrasound, a barrage of blood tests, IVF.

Things that might help him: diet, vitamins, making sure his balls don't get too hot (sauna, baths, cycle shorts), NO alcohol, NO marijauna.

Each sample is based on the last 3 months of health. Marjuana can impact for longer though.

He could try acupuncture.... again, allow time for it to work.

Best of luck, sperm samples can be changeable from sample to sample.

I'm sure your specialist will do what they can to find out the cause. I know it's not what you want to hear, but if all else fails, you could try donor sperm. My neighbour is 5 months pregnant with a donor egg (IVF). With donor sperm, you might not have all the hassle of IVF - you might get away with IUI.

Not sure donor sperm would help me as my womb is part of the problem. :-(