Community post

I have never been through the adoption process but I know if you want a baby (as opposed to an older child) it can be extremely expensive, upwards of $40,000. Older children that you adopt from the foster care system don't have as many fees associated, but for infant adoption you will likely be responsible for the birth mother's expenses (if she changes her mind you don't get the money back) and lots of legal fees. I'm not saying this to discourage you but since you say your financial situation is not good I thought I would warn you about that aspect of it. GL and remember you are quite young and have lots of time to decide or save up for whatever options you want to pursue. If you have insurance that will cover infertility or procedures like an HSG you should try those. The HSG isn't that bad for many women and it is over quickly. GL hun! :)

I have adopted a small child through my states foster care agency. In order to adopt through the state you don't have to be rich but you do have to have stable job or at least one stable job and income as well as health insurance coverage. Basically you have to prove to an agency whether it is a state based agency or a private agency, that you can provide for not only that child but any children that reside in the home as well as for yourselves. It wouldn't be fair to give people a child that can't provide for themselves let alone add a child to the mix. For my son I paid $3,000 in court costs and that was it only because he was a foster care child and had been in there since age 1. When you go through a private agency, you are looking at anywhere from $30-60k and sometimes more depending on the age and status of the child. We waited 2 years for my son through the state because he was so young when found him and was not legally free to be adopted out at that time.

Adoption is not an easy process and most people don't think about the time that has to be put into it. Most people think that because they pay all of this money that they get access to the child right away. That's not the case and with the foster care system, before and after you get the child, state workers come in and out of your home on a daily to weekly basis. They check the height of your windows and how clean your house is. They check your mental health and they make you go through a series of physicals and classes in order to adopt and if you do not pass even the height of the windows test, your application is denied. I highly recommend doing your research because adoption means more than just buying a child. Costs can and probably will add up especially if the fire marshal deems your house inappropriate for whatever reason. It's a lot to take in and handle, that's for sure.

Thanks a lot for your answers, I'm also considering the south african forster care agency, I'm from south africa and I think it take 6 to 12 months to get the baby here...I'll let u know the outcome

Another thing too that I should add is believe it or not, some agencies can deny your application because of little things. You have to know what you're getting into when you choose an agency. Education and income are the two biggest things that they look for in a private agency. I know a woman that only had a two year degree and was denied because she did not have the income level that they would have liked. Also, keep in mind that even if you did have the money, a stable job, health insurance, etc that it's not up to you whether or not you get a specific child, whether you want him/her or not. Here, if you pass the tests and home checks and medical checks and you express interest in the child, it is up to the child's social worker to decide if you are a good match or not. They look out for the child's best interest and want to make sure that the child isn't bombarded with people. It could cause issues when/if the adoption doesn't go through.

Let me know how things go. I'm here to talk to if you need advice or help in the process.

One of my sisters adopted 2 children. She first became a foster mom, soley for the purpose of adoption b/c it's cheaper than private adoptions. She had to register with an adoption agency, who will need to do a "home study" to make sure your home is safe (no felons living there, no criminal backgrounds, a medicine cabinet that locs, a place for the child to have their own room-as opposed to having to sleep in the room with you & dh, etc). She said most people don't have to worry about it & pass. Agencies will want about $5,000, but I think she paid less than that at first, not sure. A social worker coordinates everything and sets up meetings with the child. The whole thing will cost several thousands, but private adoptions cost ~$25,000, at least here in the US.
Since you're quite young and are financially strapped right now, consider at least getting your HSG done (~150-$200) & all that you can, & save money. Try http://community.babycenter.com/find/sa?sa=+