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Am I doing the right thing?

Some of you may have seen in my earlier question that the father will not be in the child's life. He is phyco. It's explained in my previous question. But I know once my child is a certain age he/she will ask about their dad. I don't want to put him down, I want to them them that he was a good guy. I don't want then growing up resenting him for what he did to me. Is this the right thing to do?

3 Answers • 9 years ago


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Did he have any good qualities at all? If he did, focus on those points. I don't think it's a good thing to lie to your kid. I understand at a young age you don't want to let them know how he treated you, but one day it might be important to explain a little bit more about the situation, if it's something they desire to know. If we lie to our kids then how can they trust what else we have said to them? Take it slow with all this and pray for wisdom in dealing with it. All my best to you~ and glad you had the strength get out of that bad relationship.

9 years ago


Sometimes we all have to sugar coat things for our children. But I agree not to lie. Its more of a don't ask don't tell. When your child gets older of course they will ask and I personally think short non conversational answers are best. You clearly don't want to bash him and you also don't want to make him out to be a hero. Once they have reached a mature age I do agree that it may need to be discussed further. But I'd definitely leave that up to your child. If he/she asks and you feel they are mature enough for honest not embellished answers I would engage that conversation. I'm sorry I don't know your situation but as a mother I'm sure you are making the right decision. I wish you the best of luck hun

9 years ago


member

I agree with the previous posters, but i would urge you not to worry too much about this until you know for sure you are pregnant...no need to stress unnecessarily! Either way, definitely leave this guy, he sounds like a real loser/lunatic. GL girl! :)

9 years ago


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