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Vent. Rude Family comments after a missed miscarriage.
So last week I had a d & c. Baby had no heartbeat at my 10 week check up. I am visiting my family out of state. I decided to tell my step mother, which I should have know better. Little back story, I have a two year old who had some internal complications which resulted in 3 major surgeries before he was 18 months. He is doing well now. So my step mother replies to me after I tell her about the d and c "well if I was you I wouldn't have any more. Your (hubby and I) DNA doesn't mix well. How would you feel if you had another hold with the same birth defects". I'm still not over my MC and was not prepared for her rude comment. I just feel very discouraged.
Sorry just needed to tell someone else!
6 Answers • 9 years ago
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memberI am so sorry that you experienced a loss and then such an insult on top of it. That was a very unintelligent, thoughtless, and tactless comment coming from your stepmother. We had 6 miscarriages over the years and I have come to realize that many people including family members and friends are incapable of choosing the right words whether it had to do with our continued losses or ongoing struggles conceiving over the past 25 years. As a result we have become very private people not sharing much of our personal struggles with others. It is a sad outcome and has caused us to feel isolated at times. I know how hard it is to "digest" inconsiderate answers and opinions, but the best you can do is to forgive her for her misstep, pray about your situation, and be very selective over anything you might want to share with her in the future. The very best wishes and the Lord's blessings.
9 years ago
I understand what you are going through. My daughter had 32 surgeries by the time she was 2. Soon after her 2nd b day her father and I split up. I remarried and my husband and I have had 2 miscarriages. People can be rude. What they don't understand is we are already worried about potential problems because of what we have already been through. Plus just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again and that part is a quote from my ob/gym,. She probably had no idea how it would make u feel. It might help to either confront her or have your husband do it. Hope this helps.
9 years ago
oh god i say you are fuming! so rude and insensitive. but can i just say my older brother had alot of surgeries as a kid kidney transplant etc doctors said other siblings would have the same problems but i turned out fine so hopefully if you conceive another baby that wont be a worry i wish you all the best in the future, sorry for your loss and try forget about that comment xxxx
9 years ago
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